Three things I've learned this week.

This week me and a beautiful friend of mine Julie, came to Nashville to meet with some of her friends and to attend a conference focused on songwriting, singing, and leading worship.  It has been awesome, unlike anything I knew was out there. I will probably share more in time on all the things God is doing in my heart.  Today though, I am finding it ironic how much you can learn about yourself just by the way you talk to other people.  In a setting like this where no one knows you and to be honest, since we are all crazy artists (that love music more than most normal people), everyone is interested in what the person beside them is up to in life.  We are all so diverse and from different church backgrounds and music genre's, it is so eye opening to see what everyone is doing in life, and they are all so passionate about so many different things.  There is total freedom to be yourself as an artist, when you talk (in other words you can talk about music ALL DAY & no one is annoyed) dress, and answer the initial question that kept coming up, "What do you do?"  Here I can answer that question and talk abut anything I want to.  I am not wearing any of my normal "hats" in life.  Not pastor's wife, not homeschooling mom, not soccer mom or worship leader)  Though I'm still all those things, no one knows it here.  

I have realized by the things that come out of my mouth, where my passions and heart lies though.  What does the bible say? "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks." And if that's true, let me tell you, I am first and foremost, (besides bride & mommy of course)...a youth pastor.  Here I have all the opportunity, when asked to talk about my music, my goals and dreams, to share whatever I want.  I unconsciously EVERY TIME, say, "My husband and I are youth pastors & I'm a worship leader and songwriter."  Youth pastor was first every time and not from habit, because at home I don't usually tell people that up front.  I kept trying to stop myself from talking about youth ministry.  Julie would crack up because I was constantly talking about ideas for my girls and different things pertaining to youth ministry at the oddest times!  I came to the realization that I filtered everything through the eyes of my students.  I LOVE them!  I want to protect them, love on them, and find creative ways for God to minister to them!  I know we have done ministry together for a little over a decade, and sometimes I question, "Is this what you want for me, Jesus?  Am I (Tammy) following what you've called me to? He has answered that this week, yet again.  In a very unexpected atmosphere.  I'd hear a song someone wrote and think, "I have got to get the chord chart for that!  I want our students singing those words to Father and proclaiming them over their lives!

And MY GIRLS,  I love my girls...so much!  I love this generation of girls and young adults, and am so broken for the pressures they face in everyday life.  I am passionate to see music find them where they are in their lives, and give them a voice to proclaim back to the world a defense.  That tells them they don't have to cash in and sell out all their beauty and gentleness  to the world!  My mind races with ways to minister and find others to minister to them!  I find myself drawn to the youth here and any artist who feels called to reach out to girls and young women.

Another thing I've realized is how much I love leading worship and how much I love our church, Greenhouse. I constantly find myself talking about It!  Not only our church but the church in general. What God is doing in Greenhouse and the refreshing that it brings just hearing it, to people that are so disillusioned by the church. Yesterday, I ended up having a long conversation with one of the top producers in the industry who was privately sharing how much he loves people and diversity, and the kingdom, but he is so tired of not seeing love and acceptance, and diversity in the church & the industry.  I ended up telling him all about Greenhouse, and what is happening there.  About the love, diversity, and life of our church!  It ended up being a powerful God moment!  And that scenario happened over and over again with people!  There has been power in encouraging others that there is hope for the church.  So many artists, especially young ones, are so disillusioned with the politics and programs of the "typical American church".  But, there is hope.  God is moving in ours and other churches across the nation in a very organic way.  God's word is the blueprint for a healthy church, not any man made program.  I. Love. Our. Church.  I love the church.  I love His bride.  Collective bride.  All denominations.  I keep finding myself encouraging artists to use their talents in the local church and not turn away from it to walk in their calling and their seasons of waiting.  We need them.  We need you.  Be disillusioned, it's okay.  Now you know what isn't gonna work.  Maybe you are seeing the flaws in His bride. so that you can help resurrect her.

As I start out this last day here, I want to be full of the spirit, full of life, and full of love.  In the meantime, Sweat and Greenhouse, know that you hold a piece of my heart and it overflows in everything I say and do.  I love you guys.  I love our church.  I love His bride.